Thursday, 10 March 2011

The Benchmark

I don't own a set of scales. never have, i have always used my skinny jeans as a benchmark, hence my jeans all being in storage since i was 10 weeks pregnant. Last week after a particularly heavy Croissant binge in Paris i decided i would see what i actually weigh, and jumped on my mums scales. They are clearly broken, i don't want to discuss details, but there is no way i actually weigh that much...mother i think you need a new battery.... i have 3 months to go, and people tell me i have the largest weight gain in front of me, now i never use this particular phrase, but in replacement of a profanity. OMG

Now in fairness people have been very kind re my appearance, telling me (now please try not to laugh if these are the usual words of comfort you receive in pregnancy) that i look really well and pregnancy suits me, one woman even told me i looked beautiful pregnant, she is French, so perhaps a little loose with such a compliment, where as in English she actually meant nice/cute/quite pretty, but she didn't she said beautiful, such an under used word don't you think?? one usually saved for brides and gardens.....i plan to use it more often, instead of my usual gorgeous/lovely/ really made an impression on me!!

Back to the weight situation. Or should i say weight & size. A friend sent me the link to this article

The hormone they discuss is one produced by pregnant women, which tells their brain they are full, apparently women are using this hormone to allow them selves to consume only 500 calories a day
500?????????? Show me a pregnant woman who consumes only 500 calories a day, and i will show you a fibber (i was temped to say i would show you a manicured middle finger but that's a bit uncouth for a pregnant lady isn't it??)
My body is demanding carbohydrates in a way i have never experienced before, call it gluttony, call it greed, call it what you like, i call it fuel. A taxi driver asked me yesterday what my cravings were and i had to be totally honest, i haven't had any recently, not cravings, just moments of fancying certain foods, mainly beige foods, croissants and crumpets with copious amounts of jam, oh and potato cakes and sui mai, not together or with jam. Obviously i intersperse these beige foods with healthy and wholesome foods, but i am a little perturbed i haven't been given a strange fat free craving, friends of mine craved dust/charcoal even ice.....but me?? i want a Crunchie Ice cream.

Yesterday i was asked how many actual maternity clothes i had bought. the answer is Zero. I have resisted the urge or necessity and am rather proud of myself, i have adapted jersey, learnt the art of clever layering and even have a spring wish list of things from  that i know will work and be practical post bump, maxi dresses, jewelled sandals and some knitwear. I also refuse point blank to succumb to buying a belly band. . My apologies to all those who have recommended one, but i cant do it out of principle. I must find a way of getting through the next 3 months using alternative methods of dressing my bump, the bump boob tube isn't on my wish list.  Nor is this final suggestion (from a man, in fashion) which i guess was designed to detract attention from my body....."why dont you wear something interesting on your head?? erm like what, a fascinator like Anna Dello Russo? a lobster a la Lady GaGa? or maybe i am being too sensitive and he actually meant a nice fedora. I will keep you posted

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