Its been 7 days since my last confession, and I have to admit its been for several reasons, when not masquerading as a blogger I have a proper job to attend to, but also I have been fighting some personal demons, I am embarrassed to admit it but I've committed the cardinal sin of comparing my pregnancy to other expectant women, from the size of my bump, to how much weight I have put on else where (bum,legs,arms,ankles) and worse still, how well I am handling being pregnant, beating myself up for wearing flats when I see other pregnant women in heels, like I am letting the side down, and worse still, asking myself if I am being a wuss for slowing down my general pace (work & socially) all this comparison left me exhausted and feeling quite bad about myself, after a pathetic self pitying winge to the boyfriend I started to think about things a little more clearly.
Pregnancy I have realised can not be compared, as each and every woman has a different experience physically, not to mention variance of lifestyle, i often wonder how the hell my mum coped with 6 pregnancies, on top of looking after the existing children, my dad is no 90s man, he earned the crust and my mum took care of house and babies, i think i would have had a tota meltdown!
I have also been scolding myself for not taking better care of body (from a vanity perspective) thinking how I should have taken up pregnancy yoga and swimming, but the fact is I had time for neither of these things pre pregnancy so it was unlikely I would have done them as soon as I realised I was expecting!! I have had to be realistic and think how lucky I am to have avoided 9 months of nausea or worse, a close friend of mine developed a condition called placenta previa which meant she had to stop work months early, rendering her practically house bound, my pregnancy feels like a breeze when I remember that.
Body wise I've accepted that each woman is totally incomparable, who would have thought a stick thin model like Eva herzigova would gain as muc weight as she did ???
Its such a 2011 thing to do, expect to be a superwoman, I am from the "have it all” generation, and it seems that has now extended to thinking we can put on only the necessary baby weight, not a lb extra, work right up until our due date and spring back to shape immediately, the pressure is palpable, and unnecessary.
I am starting my very own revolution, and it doesn't involve eating dozens of crunchie ice creams guilt free, but it does mean I am going to stop being so hard on myself, yes my ankles are swollen and my legs no longer look good in short dresses, and no I can't face wearing heels for more than an hour, but I have kept up with my work commitments, stuck with hypnobirthing and haven't missed a friends birthday night out AND I've remembered to take my pregnacare vitamins, all things to pat myself on the back for I think?
Viva la revolucion!